Though I'm skeptical about most, there are so many conspiracy theories, it's hard to avoid believing a few.

One theory holds that the press colludes to convince you that there are no conspiracies and that the number you believe reflects your degree of paranoia. Just because you're paranoid, doesn't necessarily mean someone's not out to get you. Fortunately, trustworthy writers like me will tell you about possible conspiracies and, as a bonus, I'll tell you what to think about them, too. Trust me.

To enhance my credibility, I often mimic journalistic masters. Accordingly, I'll borrow a David Letterman technique: the Top Ten List of Conspiracy Theories. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Instead, it's a result of an intensive five minutes of concentration.

#10. The Waco assault was a government ploy to distract attention from the Rodney King incident and L.A. riots. I'm certain of only two people who believe this. One is my buddy from Jones County. Don't worry, Jim, I never name my sources. An unnamed CIA buddy of his told him about it.

#9. The Waco assault was a plot to eliminate several BATF agents who had dirt on President Clinton. Sure, Clinton does seem to have a lot of dirt, and Hillary is ruthless, but....come on!

#8. Flood waters near Macon in 1994 were diverted to poor black neighborhoods in order to spare properties owned by whites. Floodgates, dam operations, I can't recall all the details of this complicity, like whether or not the Almighty was involved. Jesse Jackson publicized it. Enough said.

#7. George Bush flew to Tehran prior to the 1980 election to bribe the Ayatollah to hold the embassy hostages until after the election to enable a Reagan victory. Remember malaise? Charlie Brown could have won the 1980 election. Good grief!

#6. Bush had CIA operatives planning to disrupt the wedding of Ross Perot's daughter. Give me a break. The real plot was Perot's: delay the wedding and earn more interest on the money.

#5. The U.S. Government plans to abdicate authority to a world government ruled by the United Nations. A president, a VP, nine Supreme Court Justices, 435 Congressmen, and thousands of bureaucrats all want to give up their power and pensions. Right.

#4. Vince Foster's murder was made to look like suicide. There's too much evidence pointing to this conclusion, so there must be another explanation. Perhaps the independent investigator or Congressional hearings will bring us the real story.

#3. O.J. Simpson was framed. There must be a thousand variations of this theory. The defense is foisting the "25 to 50 policemen colluded to frame a black guy" angle. My favorite is the "unknown twin brother with matching DNA" theory.

#2. The moon landing was a hoax. The Weekly World News and R.L. Day exposed the ruse in March 1991. This old theory has been recycled every two years since 1969. In the movie Capricorn One, astronauts and NASA conspired to fake a manned Mars landing. The empty rocket exploded after launch at which point the astronauts had to be killed to conceal the deception. O.J. Simpson, as one of the astronauts, was a victim of this conspiracy, too.

#1. Clinton is a GOP mole. Cal Thomas advanced this theory in a recent column. Bush appears once again. He agrees to lose the election by acting apathetic. Clinton is elected and...pow! Clinton is the best thing to happen to the GOP in a generation. He gives complete control to Republicans in exchange for immunity from a string of Arkansas and federal charges. This really explains a lot.

These are but a speck from the tip of the iceberg. Please send us your conspiracy in care of Ed Corson. He won't likely print what he calls "irresponsible hogwash", but I'll have great fun reading them, unless those Telegraph guys conspire to not share them with me.

Copyright Ó1995 Steve Scroggins - All rights reserved.